Musings from a Meandering Mind

I'm telling myself I need to post tonight; it's been too long. I've been doing some journaling, but it's more of making a to-do list and time tracking.

I realized the other day that I didn't want to write about my mother's death. I don't have to blog about it--that's OK. Unfortunately I do have to write an obituary. It's already been two weeks. I have a folder with some materials I can use. I also have some photos for whatever memorial service or reception we have. I selected a date at least.

I'm also putting information together for the attorney (names and addresses, accounts and balances.) We have an appointment on Monday morning.

I'm just about halfway through an SAT course. It's my first SAT course in a year-and-a-half. Plus it's the first with the new manual and the first with the 18 hour syllabus. I've been doing extra prep and watching instructional videos.

For this class, I'm back at the building of my first class. It's not the best location. I had wanted the Westport office but someone else got that location. Oh well. It's only another six weeks.

I also started two tutorials this week and have another two students about to start. Nice to see some more tutoring with the last three students in Westport--short commute.

I've decided that I have too many things on display: photographs, cinnabar plates and vases. I also have a few things from my mother. I've started to rearrange things, place new things out, and pack up other things.

I've finished my third book Game Change by John Heileman and Mark Halperin. It took me a while to get into it. I was somewhat bored with the beginnings of the 2008 Obama and Clinton campaigns.

I think the authors couldn't stand Hillary Clinton. At one point, she is "bug-eyed." Edwards appears to be a delusional lightweight. McCain seems out of his depth especially on the financial crisis. Then, there's his Palin decision. Only Obama comes off very well. Rebecca Traister's Big Girls Don't Cry was much better on the same election.

On to a new book.

Davis and Dumbrille

Yesterday I watched Fog Over Frisco. I've seen it several times, most recently here.

This time around, I focused on the relationship with Bette Davis and Douglas Dumbrille.

In the film, Arlene Bradford (Bette) is engaged to Spencer Carleton (Lyle Talbot.) He seems timid--not strong or energetic enough for Arlene. He can barely handle going out to a night club.

Later we learn the reason for Spencer's timidity: Arlene is using him to facilitate securities fraud. Soon enough, Arlene dumps Spencer (returning his engagement ring without a note by messenger--cold) and returns to her secret husband Mayard aka Arthur Burchard (Douglas Dumbrille.) Unfortunately for Arlene, hubby is no longer in love with her and wants out.

Arlene is clearly in love with him. She trembles when she hears from him (according to her stepsister Val (Margaret Lindsay.) She jumps into his arms when she first sees him. I just don't get it.

To be fair, I remember Douglas Dumbrille as a Marx Brothers villain in A Day at the Races and The Big Store. He just doesn't strike me as a heartthrob. I guess he can be charming and debonair, but he didn't show it in his one scene with Arlene. All he wanted was the return of his letters and he was all business.

If we're not going to see Dumbrille act charming or seductive--he should look the part. William Powell could have sold the charm and sex appeal. Douglas Fairbanks Jr.? Ricardo Cortes? Cagney? Bogart? George Brent? Lyle Talbot would have been better than Douglas Dumbrille. Dumbrille was miscast.

I'm reminded of a story about Bette Davis and Beyond the Forest. Bette plays Rosa Moline who is desperate to escape her small town. Bette thought Joseph Cotton was all wrong for the part of her husband. He was so handsome, why would she want to leave him?

Casting is important.

Book Two: Why Baseball Matters by Susan Jacoby

This was a Christmas gift to Jeff and me.

The book focuses on the concern that baseball is losing young fans due to the length of the games. The problem is that the most of the proposed solutions will only shave a few minutes off the game length. Jacoby explains that even reducing the average game time to approximately two hours wouldn't be enough to attract young fans. (Hey, two hours sounds great to me.)

Ironically, it's the timeless quality of baseball that is its greatest asset. New fans will have to learn to embrace that. 

The Post That Would Have Been 2019 Week One

I had Wednesday all planned out. Take Lola out for a long walk before I went to the gynecologist: another walk with Lola and lunch before heading to a tutoring appointment. After that, a visit with my mother. Back home for dinner and a post about the first week of the year.

I got stuck at the doctor's for an extra hour...waiting. When I tried to take Lola for a quick visit to the park, strong winds were blowing around a discarded Christmas tree in the parking lot. That scared Lola, and she immediately turned to go back inside.

I got a phone call from my mother's health center. She wasn't doing well; she wasn't eating and was lethargic. She had already been sick with pneumonia for about a week.

I spent a few hours with my mother Wednesday afternoon; her doctor came around 5:30. My brother and I, and the doctor agreed to keep her comfortable where she was: no need to transfer her to the hospital.

Mom seemed a bit better that evening. She was eating. I talked to my brother, told him not to bother to visit that night. I left around 6.

By 8:30 she was gone.

The next day the social worker told me I had done all the right things for my mother. Of course I regret not staying with her Wednesday evening and not telling my brother to visit. Bur I can't dwell on that.

I'm doing pretty well considering. My mother's quality of life had declined over the past several months. She even told me on Monday, "I want to go now."

It was time. 

2019 Book One: The Devil in the White City By Erik Larson

I had heard of this book and heard it was good. I didn't realize that it was a true story until I saw this episode of the TV show Timeless. (I guess watching TV isn't a total waste, after all.) I also watched a History Channel show investigating if the United States' first serial killer H.H. Holmes was actually Jack the Ripper.

The Devil in the White City focuses on Holmes and Daniel Burnham the main architect of the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago.

I confess I was more interested in the gruesome murders than the awe inspiring sites of the Fair. It was amazing what Burnham and his team were able to accomplish, including the first Ferris Wheel.

2018: The Bad

In my last post, I listed a few good things about 2018. Obviously there were other good times, but I focused on big picture items.

Here are the bad things big picture items. Jeff's father died in February. My mother broke her hip in July. She has been deteriorating since then.

On a personal level, I botched my annual goals. I only succeeded in one--not drinking for six weeks (roughly New Year's to Valentine's Day.)

I only made it to the gym 74 times with a goal of 150 visits. I couldn't even manage a visit on New Year's Eve--at least I would have made it halfway. The most annual visits I ever achieved was just over 100. 150 is doable--roughly three visits a week.

255 blog posts: I wrote 123, again less than half of my goal. This goal is also doable: I wrote 253 posts in 2013.

Read 20 books: Close but no cigar. I read 18. I knew it was a risk to re-read Nicholas and Alexandra. Then after I finished Book Eighteen, I took a week or so to go through several magazines that had piled up (many were courtesy of my mother's habit of double subscribing or renewing magazines.) Almost made it to 19, but finished The Devil in the White City in 2019.

Last two goals were to work 10 hours each work on job search--a pitiful goal that I didn't really even track--and to write 500 words at least two times a week--maybe I came close during my writing course.

I'll recycle these goals and try again. Maybe I can add new goals along the way. I also need to prioritize goals. Focus.