Self Sabotage?

In my last entry (Friday) I suggested that I could get morning writing done by getting up and writing first thing.  So what did I do Saturday morning? I slept until 8. Jace wasn't ready to go out until 9:30. Did I spend that hour-and-a-half writing? No, I read some emails and played New York Times word games.

I did work for about two hours after walking Jace on my story for tomorrow's class and finished the story this afternoon. Ironically, I've been writing shorter, "tight" stories until this one--it's 815 words and four pages. Our limit is usually 850 words. This week the limit is two pages. I'm confused about how many words that is. Oh well, I'm not going to edit out half of the story. 

As for working on my book, as Scarlett O'Hara says, "tomorrow is another day."

Musings about Mornings

As I get older, I am becoming even more of a morning person. It's 6 AM as I write this and I've been up for a half hour and awake for a about an hour. I couldn't go back to sleep. I'm sitting thinking about what I could/should be doing and staring at an empty screen thinking about the short story I need to write for Monday's class. What happened to the ideas that were swirling in my head the other day?

Jace is more of a morning dog than Spike and Lola were. When we first got him, I would get up as soon as I heard him stirring around 6. Soon I realized that I didn't have to get up that early. We have settled into a routine where we usually walk around 8. I should push today's time up a little because I have to take Jeff to physical therapy at 9. Jace is out of bed but sleeping on the living room couch. 

Jeff and I have been lucky because none of our three dogs have been the kind to wake us up at the crack of dawn to go out. Many times Spike and Lola would stay in bed hours after I had gotten up. I appreciate Jace's flexibility.

During the week of January 9th, I tracked my hours a la Laura Vanderkam. Looking at the 21 hours between 6 and 9 that week, I can account for 15.75 hours. 5.5 hours sleeping, 2.5 hours showering and dressing, 2.75 hours walking Jace, 1 hour cleaning, 1.5 hours breakfast and coffee, 1 hour games, 1 hour writing, .5 hours driving to doctor's. It's a little confusing because some time slots (in 15 minute increments) are listed in two or even three categories, such as coffee or breakfast and time on the computer. My time on games is underreported. 

I usually get up between 6 and 7. At least that's how I remember it. Looking at the week of the 9th, it looks like I could have had 5.5 hours of writing time. Worth a try. 

Winter Weekend Miscellanea

We're about one third of the way through winter. It's a relief to be out with Jace at 5 PM, and it's not pitch black. So far, the weather's been mild. I can't expect that to continue, but I hope it does. 

Is there some kind of societal rule--like don't wear white after Labor Day--about when people should take down their Christmas decorations? I saw one man removing lights from his house on the morning of New Year's Day. Now most people have taken their decorations down. Yesterday I saw two houses next to each other that still had lighted Christmas trees in their windows. Tonight only one remained. 

Halfway down the block from the Christmas tree holdout, people in one house are clearly moving on. Valentine's Day hearts adorn their door.

Book Three: Mystic River by Dennis Lehane

I really enjoyed this book, both as a mystery (I never had a clue to the killer) as a an example of good writing (the description of Mrs. Harris by her clothing and smoking habits was masterful.) The neighborhoods of the Point and the Flats were so vividly drawn that they were characters in their own right.

Now I have to check out the film (I avoided it because of the grim storylines of sexual abuse of a child and murder of a teenager and despite of its cast of Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, Laura Linney, and Tim Robbins.)

One reason I wanted to read this book was that Desmond Hall used it as an example in his CrimeCONN seminar. (He also used his book Your Corner Dark and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.) We discussed ways to develop characters by exploring their internal and external goals and obstacles. Lehane's layered, complex characters will make a good study. 

Book Two: Your Corner Dark by Desmond Hall

I met Desmond Hall at CrimeConn last summer. I enjoyed his lunchtime seminar so much that I bought this book.

Frankie Green is waiting to hear if he will receive a full scholarship and be able to leave Jamaica for the United States. He gets the good news but barely has a chance to celebrate before his father Samson is shot and develops a staph infection that requires expensive medication.

Despite Samson's abuse of him, Frankie feels obligated to care for his father. Frankie must join his uncle's gang in exchange for payment of the medical bills and forget about his dreams of college and the United States. 

I like the book, but it took me about 100 pages to really get into it. That also happened to me in the last book I read. I wonder if it's because the book jackets get right to the main plotline, and the build up in the novel is too slow...Something to think about. 

2023 Goals

Here are my 2023 goals. 

Stop drinking from January 2 to Valentine's Day: I'm already one-third of the way there. It gets easier each year. 

In addition, I want to limit my overall alcoholic consumption for health reasons. I think wine enhances meals. It's easy to get in the habit of pouring a glass (or two) with dinner, but it's not something I really need. My brother asked me why I don't quit completely, but I enjoy wine, beer, and cocktails. Also, as one doctor in the linked article says, "We did prohibition, it didn't work." I'll limit my drinking to weekends (except for special occasions.)

Reading: my goal is to read 40 books this year (last year's goal was 35). That amounts to less than half a book more each month. 

Go to the gym 150 times: I came close this year with 143 visits. I just have to keep plugging away. I also want to exercise for 30 minutes on days I don't make it to the gym. 

Write 200 blogposts: This is a doable goal even if I haven't done it the last two years. 

Now for the goals that are harder to measure.

Writing: I didn't get around to setting any kind of writing goals last year. I was disappointed in my writing production last year. Is it cause and effect? Could be.

On Friday, I decided I should spend two hours each day writing, editing, researching, blogging, journaling. In that two hours I have to write 200 words of new material. Friday was the only day I've managed to hit the goal. 

Art: I want to spend two hours a week making some kind of art. Right now, I'm thinking of art journals and artist trading cards.

There's work to do. 

2022 Goal Review

Stop drinking for six weeks: done. I like to have a goal that is accomplished early in the year. 

Read 35 books: done

Go to the gym 150 times: I consistently fail in this goal, but I'm happy that I got close this year with 143 visits. Wait until next year. A related goal is to exercise at least one half hour each day. This is a goal that I don't expect to keep--it's aspirational. 

Write 200 blog posts: I only made it to 183. I was at 172 at the beginning of December. I seemed to self sabotage after that. I'm not sure why.

I never did come up with writing goals for last year. I need to do that for 2023.

2023 Week One

I have to say it was a pretty good week. We only had two appointments between the two of us compared to last week when I seemed to be constantly on the run. I cleaned and packed up the Christmas ornaments and decorations. On a more fun note, I had a delicious lunch with two friends on Friday.

I spent several hours on my Merwin/Merwinsville book. I did a little editing--not much new writing. I read through some handouts I'd received from the hotel and a pamphlet that listed railroad related attractions in the Eastern United States. 

The most important thing is that I'm more focused on Merwin. I have much more research to do, but I need to do some writing, even if I later decide to toss it. The next topic I'm going to write about is rail travel in the 1800s.

2023 Book One: Social Crimes by Jane Stanton Hitchcock

I kicked off the year with another library sale purchase. I had recognized Jane Stanton Hitchcock's name and loved her book The Witches' Hammer.

Social Crimes was not as good as The Witches' Hammer. It took me about 100 pages (out of 333) to get into this. I'm just not all that interested in New York City high society. I didn't particularly like any of the characters either. But I did get caught up in the revenge plot. It was fun, though dark. 

In a Merwinsville Mood

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about my time, my priorities, and my goals. I'm disappointed in my 2022 accomplishments or lack thereof. 

I did some journaling on Monday and decided I needed to write something about the Merwinsville Hotel and chose how Jeff and I first found the hotel. I had already written about it for my summer 2021 writing class.

When I reread it, I remembered what Bette said about editing and polishing.  Today I spent some time editing the 2021 story. I also looked through photos and brochures of the hotel. I'm comparing our discovery with George Hasse's of the hotel. Hasse was integral in the renovation efforts. 

Even though I didn't actually get to writing any new material, I feel like I've made progress and have a bit of a focus. 

I even wore one of my Merwinsville t-shirts. 

My Kind of Dryuary

I was thinking yesterday that Jeff and I have been doing some version of Dry January for at least 25 years. We're not strict about starting on January 1st. New Year's Day is part of the holiday and a perfect time for a mimosa. We also used to go to a New Year's Day open house for several years.

Today is our first day without drinking. I guess it's really my first day because Jeff doesn't drink very much anymore. I'll have my next drink on Valentine's Day (or whenever we celebrate it--Valentine's Day is a Tuesday.) 

This has become an annual habit and goal. I expect to suddenly see people drinking delicious-looking martinis all over any TV shows or movies I watch this month. 

Welcome 2023

I feel that 2022 was somehow a wasted year. I've been trying to think of accomplishments. Nothing's jumping out at me. 

Okay, as I just wrote, I did read 35 books. That's something. I'll be reviewing other goals in the next few days. But overall, I'm disappointed. 

I'm encouraged with Jeff's recent PT progress and will support (nag) him to keep working. His appointments over the next two weeks are spotty. He'll have to work on his own. 

I've glad I took care of some neglected health issues for myself. More seem to keep cropping up, but that's what happens when you get old. I'm in pretty good health overall.

I'm dissatisfied with 2022 because my goals weren't right. It's all well-and-good to set goals for books read, gym visits, blogposts, but I should really be focusing elsewhere--researching and writing. More to follow. 

Books Read in 2022

I read 35 books this year. At different times, I wrote about a goal of 30 books, other times it was 35. I'm glad I completed 35. I re-read one book, The Cabinet of Curiosities and abandoned two, War and Peace and Strange But True Mysterious and Bizarre People.

Here's my list:

1. The Six Wives of Henry VIII by Allison Weir

2. Jubilee by Margaret Walker

3. Dragonwyck by Anya Seton

4. The Four Winds by Kristen Hannah

5. Emma by Jane Austin

6. Diablo Canyon by Preston & Child

7. Triangle by Katharine Weber

8.  A Fall of Marigolds by Nancy Meissner

9. Triangle The Fire That Changed America by David Von Drehle

10. My Thoughts Be Bloody  The Bitter Rivalry Between Edwin and John Wilkes Booth that Led to an American Tragedy by Nora Titone

11. Wild From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed

12. The Lost Fortune of the Czars by William Clarke

13. Julie and Julia my year of cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell 

14. waiting the true confessions of a waitress by debra ginsberg

15. American Heiress The Wild Saga of the Kidnapping, Crimes and Trial of Patty Hearst by Jeffrey Toobin

16. Ragtime by E.L. Doctorow 

17. All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

18. Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly

19. Booth by Karen Fowler

20. Laura by Vera Caspary

21. Manhunt The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln's Killer by James L. Swanson

22. The Puzzled Heart by Amanda Cross

23. Dreamland by Kevin Baker 

24. The Psychology of Time Travel by Kate Mascarenhas

25. Mercury Boys by Chandra Prasad

26. Neighbors and Other Stories by Bette Bono

27. Elizabeth of York: A Tudor Queen and Her World by Alison Weir

28. Vinegar Girl by Anne Tyler

29. Plays By and About Women Edited by Victoria Sullivan and James Hatch

30. Dead to the World by Charlaine Harris

31. Dead as a Doornail by Charlaine Harris

32. Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris

33. My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem

34. She Walks These Woods by Sharyn McCrumb

35. The Fire by Katherine Neville

Here's a breakdown by rough categories: 10 historical novels, 9 mystery/suspense, 8 nonfiction, 3 pop culture, 2 science fiction, 2 collections, and 1 classic. 

My favorite books of the year: Triangle The Fire That Changed America, My Thoughts Be Bloody, and Dreamland. 

Now, what to read next? I'm going to put in holds at the library for two books, but I still have many options here.

Book 35: The Fire by Katherine Neville

I bought this book at a library sale. I had read The Eight several years ago by the same author. I learned that The Fire is a sequel to The Eight. The issue was I didn't remember the The Eight at all.  

I liked The Fire, but I think it was needlessly complicated. Too many characters across too many centuries, too many plot twists, too many "returns from the dead." In the "too much" category, my reaction to this book is similar to my reaction of Crimson Shore by Preston & Child which I read in 2020.