"I've got my crossroads feeling--

I've only had it three or four times in my life. That night in the Café Royal when Everard hit the waiter--" She stopped dead.

That's a quote from my favorite book, "I Capture the Castle" which deserves a post of its own soon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Capture_the_Castle

Maybe that quotation is a little melodramatic for what I'm feeling now but I feel that I'm in a time of changes.

The spring test prep season is over. I've only got a few students for the June tests. I'm worried that I might not have any students after the first week in June. Although I've had leads for other work--both contract and full-time jobs, nothing's panned out for me.

Spike has health issues--he has an under active thyroid which we are treating but also is losing protein in his urine. The latter can be a symptom of many problems, some of which are difficult to diagnose. We've already spent a few hundred dollars on inconclusive diagnostic tests. We'll spent whatever we need to keep Spike healthy, but I wonder how valuable all these tests are. The latest test cost about $120 only to eliminate an infection that the vet and I thought was unlikely.

My birthday is approaching. Birthdays are another new year--a time to think about plans and goals.Unfortunately, I'm falling short.

In three weeks, I go on a writer's retreat. Usually, I get a lot of writing done at retreats but not last year. So I'm trying to psych myself up to write--to get into a creative mood.  The last thing I want to do is to put pressure on myself but I don't want to leave my creativity to chance.

Then there are the Mets. They got off to a good start despite dire predictions. Sometimes they look great; other times it's like amateur hour. I don't know from one day to the next what team will take the field.

My crossroads feeling--as Yogi Berra said, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."