What I'm Watching

We're ending fall 2012 with some classic film and television. (Sarcasm Alert.)

Up now: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
One of the toughest things in watching vampire movies is figuring out the mythology. How do you kill vampires? Stake in the heart is the traditional way. Sometimes exposing a vampire to sunlight burns him gradually, sometimes the sun explodes her. What's the status of silver? That's the traditional way to kill werewolves. Sometimes it kills or at least incapacitates vampires. Sometimes vampires turn into bats, sometimes other animals. Sometimes, it varies.

How can you tell for sure when you start a movie?

Abe shot his first vampire in the eye and then threw his gun into the river. I started to comment on vampire rules to Jeff and then learned that this film follows the traditional rule that bullets can't kill vamps (i.e. Abe was attacked by said vampire.)  Abe learned to use a silver-coated ax (hey, he's the rail-splitter, remember.)

I love the idea that southern slave-owners are the vampires/and vampire allies--a simple way to discredit the romantic idea of the old south--cavaliers and their fair ladies if I recall the beginning of Gone With The Wind correctly. Nothing romantic about the Old South. Enslavement of any group is equivalent to the enslavement of all humans. I didn't expect a meaningful parallel for such a silly idea of a movie.

Onto the action-filled finale, I said to Jeff, "I hate to say this in a movie about Abraham Lincoln as a vampire hunter, but this is getting silly."

At least Mary Todd Lincoln got a cool and appropriate revenge on the vampire who killed her son.

Next up: The series finale for Jersey Shore--yes, I'm watching to the bitter end. It starts with a bonfire/picnic on the beach. First commercial break: Damn, apparently there's a new movie--Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. That's one I hadn't heard of.

Back to Jersey Shore: A mystery frosting on a cake from a dumped girlfriend? Classy.

What is it that I originally liked about this show? (Is that a trick question?) It's hard to remember now. I started watching because I'm familiar with Seaside Heights ( at least the pre-Sandy Seaside.) There were a few funny lines such as "Party's here," and "I do great things--I'm a bartender."

I can't explain why I kept watching, but here I am. Goodbye Jersey Shore (although daily re-runs may continue for some time.)