New Frustration Dream

I haven't had a frustration dream in about five months until last night. I went to Bill's home--a sprawling building. There was a couple there; Bill gave the woman and me a small basket with an upside-down plastic bottle. I leave to go home to walk my dog, and deliberately leave the basket behind.

Unfortunately, I can't leave because I can't find my car. In a parking lot, I see several cars are flooded. I also see three bars that I didn't see as I arrived. I see several people, but no one is willing to help me. Instead, one woman told me I shouldn't visit Bill by myself. Others ask me for donations. One man had a small gold pin because he made a substantial donation to Bill (now called Tom Sale.)

I check my watch, and it's later than I thought. I think about calling Jeff, but get distracted. I wake before I find the car. 

Before the dream, I found myself lying awake thinking about all the chores I need to do--especially long term chores e.g. purging old paperwork and de-cluttering. I guess those thoughts triggered this dream. 

A New Version of Frustration Dreaming

I've written about frustration dreams many times before. Last night's dream was a low-tech version. I was in an office and couldn't get a cup of coffee. At one point, the only coffee available was with cream that had turned; it was grossly unappetizing. Later I couldn't find a coffee cup. 

Strange how dreams manifest themselves. I wonder what Freud would say.

Dreaming Up a Plot

Last night I dreamed of a story set in a dorm of some sorts. A friend wakes a young woman who had been sleeping all day. Later the woman orders a drink on credit. There's some discussion with the bartender, and it's clear that the woman can't just pay for the drink and settle the bill. Somehow she has got herself into debt with a company store-like entity.  

Okay, I didn't say it was a good story. I doubt if I will use this concept. Wait, it could be a part of an idea I had back in 2017. I wrote 750 words and named the file "water." It had a dorm like setting and the company store concept could work well. I just reread the piece. It's not bad; it needs work, but it's not too bad. I wonder if it can possibly be a part of my Temporals world. 

Just the other day I was reading about the International Women's Writing Guild summer conference. One of the seminars was "Exploring the Realm of Dreams for Inspiration, Motivation and Creative Problem Solving." 

Did just reading the description of the seminar trigger me to remember my dream and think about using it in my writing? Could this be synchronicity? 

I have to be open to the possibilities.

Frustration Variation

It's been a while since I had a frustration or anxiety dream. I had one Monday night. I went into New York City for a class, then got on a bus. Somehow I ended up in a suburb at a kids' game. The return bus wasn't for another two hours, and I started talking to people about how I could get back. I suddenly realized I was dressed in a wool skirt, sweater, heels, and long winter coat. That wasn't right.

I woke up then. I guess it didn't really count as an anxiety dream because it didn't last long enough. I wonder if I somehow pulled myself out of it. Wish I could do that with the frustrations and anxieties of real life. 

Blake Bortles and Normal Glass Moon

I'm not a football fan; I never heard of Blake Bortles until we watched The Good Place; one character Jason was a big fan of Bortles and the Jacksonville Jaguars. Yesterday, reading an article about Aaron Rodgers lying about being vaccinated for Covid (come for me Shallene Woodley) someone mentioned Blake Bortles in the comments. 

Then I dreamed about him. I was discussing him with nerdy friends (who weren't into football like me) based on The Good Place. I woke up thinking about him and the words "normal glass moon." 

I don't know what that means--maybe a band name?  At least it's not a frustration dream. 

A Good Dream...For a Change

Usually when I write about my dreams, I am talking about frustration or anxiety dreams. They involve me being unable to do something, such as making a phone call.

Last night I saved a dog from a teenager hunting it with a bow and arrow. All I had to do was get the dog on private property. 

There were many other weird things in the dream, but I want to focus on something good. They are few and far between in my dreams. 

The Return of the Frustration Dream

I had another recurring dream Saturday night. I don't think I've written about this one before. I am driving and suddenly I can't open my eyes. I don't seem particularly scared--I just think I better stop driving. Nothing really happens after that. I guess I just wake up. 

A similar dream has me in the back seat of the car without a driver.  As an added frustration--sometimes I'm naked. 

I guess these dreams symbolize a loss of control.

Last night's dreams were more practical and boring: cleaning and taking care of things with our condo super before he retires. 

On Writing Goals

Yesterday a friend asked me if I was writing. I wish I could have answered yes, without a "but" or a "well." 

My writing class is continuing. I thought Monday might have been the last class but I was wrong. Homework for next Monday is a story up to 850 words about auditions for a community theater production. I got an idea for the main character almost immediately. I wrote 386 words so far (most of them yesterday.) Today I got the idea to have three or four point-of-view characters. It will be hard to do in 850 words. But I'll see what I can do. I haven't tried multiple POV's in years except for one specific assignment.

I had an idea this month to review all of my story ideas/partial stories/memoirs, etc. to decide what I should work on. Now's the time for me to make a serious effort to write. Well, I haven't gotten around to that. 

I need to stop fooling around and procrastinating. I remember this from the last episode of  Roseanne (otherwise a bad episode) "Dreams don't work without action." 

Another Dream

My next fiction writing class starts Monday on Zoom. I dreamed about an in-person class. There were several of us in a large room. I had class access on my phone, but I wanted to get access on my laptop. Why I needed computer access for an in-person class, I don't know. I tried to log in and couldn't get the right web address. I asked Bette (a real classmate) what she used and tried that. No luck. The instructor told me I had missed half the class.

So what's it all mean? I reread this article on anxiety dreams. It didn't help me understand my dream. I call these types of dreams frustration dreams, more annoyance than anxiety.

Of course, it's normal to be anxious these days, to be frustrated, to be scared because of Covid-19 and armed insurrection at the US Capitol. Luckily, my writing class is a force against frustration, anxiety, and fear. It helps to keep me grounded. 

You Can't Go Home Again

That was the theme of my dream last night. IRL, our condo consists of three buildings in a U-shape rotated 90 degrees to the left. In the dream, I entered the middle building, but couldn't get to my own. I was surprised to see that the other building had two fireplaces and a check-in desk like a hotel. I kept accidentally walking into people's units and apologizing. I left the building and walked by a Mexican restaurant and then into a gas station behind the condo. I ended up sleeping on the floor of the gas station office and suddenly Lola was there. I woke up before I made it back to my own place.

Funny how frustration about not going places is transformed into frustration about getting home.

Just a Dream...

...or a series of unfortunate dreams.

I was in a writing class. We were assigned to redraw a magazine cover, which consisted primarily of a series of triangles, and then write about it. For some reason I was tearing pages from the magazine to find a blank piece of paper. Before I knew it, I had destroyed the magazine and didn't have an image of the cover. My classmates were starting to read their stories, and I hadn't even started.


I climbed to the top of a tower dedicated to Harriet Tubman. To climb down, I needed to take off my shoes and go barefoot. I also had to throw my notebook off the tower before I descended. I didn't get what I needed (presumably inspiration of some type.)


I parked my SUV to drop off my sister-in-law at the Norwalk Airport. She told me that Jeff had taken some wedding or Christmas presents, and, for the second time, the presents had disappeared. I told her Jeff would not resell the gifts. I wondered if they were in our messy second bedroom.


I was with my brother and a friend at an outdoor restaurant. My brother was upset because he punched someone and was on parole. My friend was fighting with the waitress. I worried the waitress would do something to my friend's food.


There were other disjointed parts to these dreams: my niece talking about a high school rivalry, an art show, a bus collapsing a bridge, a bunch of us being wet for some unknown reason.


I woke up 10 minutes before the alarm went out. In the next few minutes, I was thinking about my dreams while half asleep. I dreamed I was walking and started to trip over something on the trail. I jolted forward, now fully awake seconds before the alarm went off.

Dreams are weird. There is no Norwalk Airport. I didn't climb a Harriet Tubman tower. There are only a few real things in the dream: it was my real sister-in-law, my real niece, I am married to Jeff, and we have a messy second bedroom.


I guess the weirdest thing is that yesterday was a pretty good day. Where did all this frustration come from?

Strange Dreams

I've experienced weird dreams the past three nights.

Dreams are ephemeral: I don't even remember my dream on Wednesday night. Thursday's dream involved some sort of home invasion. A couple was detained in a soft-sided cage suspended from the ceiling.

Last night's dream was the most vivid. I was at some kind of work getaway--conference--like ones I used to attend. I was walking down a street and saw a vendor selling parody maps of Connecticut towns and cities. The vendor was someone I knew, but I don't remember who. He didn't have a map of Norwalk.

I want back to another store at the beginning of the street  It sold jewelry and polished stones and shells. The door was open, but no one was there. I put on a bunch of the rings and a pair of earrings and filled my pocketbook with stones, etc. I don't remember what I was thinking.

The owner returned and we talked for awhile. Suddenly she realized some of her stock was missing. I emptied out my pocketbook. A few employees suddenly appeared and tallied up what I had. It covered the counters (don't know how it fit in my handbag.)

The cost for these items was $500 plus. (In reality, pretty good since I had so many items including an emerald and a ruby ring.) I couldn't afford that. So I went along the counters and indicated what I didn't want, and an employee took that off my total. The earrings were the most expensive. Of course, they were what I wanted the most. Ultimately, I gave them up.

I got the total down by about half. I apologized for making more work for the employees because they would have to put all the merchandise back in the display cases. I didn't apologize for attempted theft because I didn't think of myself as a thief.

There was a discussion about a one percent surcharge because I lived in Norwalk. When the employee learned I was from New York City area, she said she would have charged me more.

I checked the time and said I would miss dinner. An employee said she would miss dinner too.

I tried to call Elaine who was at the conference to tell her I would be late.

I couldn't get my phone to work. There I was: back to my standard frustration dream. The other two dreams also ended with some version of the frustration and futility.

I don't remember ever succeeding in these dreams.

Just reread this article that I linked to in a previous post. I  don't consciously feel a sense of relief after my frustration dreams. It's more like--oh, here we go ago. I take comfort that others have the same kind of dreams.

I'd rather return to the dreams in which I can fly.

Two in a Row

This is a first: two consecutive nights of frustration dreams. I was checking into a hotel with my family. We had shopping carts to carry our luggage (classy.) Another family put their baby in a car seat into our cart.

I was distracted by the baby and realized that my family was gone. I tried to call them to find our room number, but couldn't get my phone to work. I don't know why I didn't think to ask the hotel clerk--I can be quite illogical in my dreams. Instead I wandered around the hotel lobby, pushing a button on my phone that didn't do anything.

On a landing in the corner of the lobby, I saw a women wheeling a gurney with a covered body on it. She quickly darted back off the landing, with a leer.

I wondered if this was a scene in a story I was writing and not a dream at all.

***

What does this all mean? I don't know for sure, but I know I'm frustrated by my inability to get things done. All I can do is start with small steps. 

New Cell Phone Frustration Dream

Here's the setup. I had an appointment with a new hairdresser today. I got a new phone about two weeks ago.

Here's the dream. I was at a Lisa Vanderpump restaurant in Westport (hey, you heard it here first.) I wasn't eating, but talking to Scheana as she folded napkins or something. Weird, as Scheana is one of my least favorite characters on Vanderpump Rules.

I had a car but left it as I headed to my hair appointment. The sequence of the rest of the dream is vague, but I dropped my new cell phone and it broke into four main pieces and some tiny pieces. Tiny like lights on small ceramic Christmas trees. I scooped up the tiny pieces into a snack sized Ziploc (that I just happened to have on hand.) I was worried about what Jeff would think.

I walked toward my appointment and saw my mother. I asked to use her cellphone, but she refused because she only had three minutes left on it.

The hairdresser called. Since I was late, she couldn't see me until Thanksgiving. Somehow I received her call, but couldn't call out.

It was nice to wake up and realize my phone was still in one piece.

A New Frustration Dream

Last night I dreamed about my class. In my real class, I have a small whiteboard, so I also use a portable whiteboard that I carry from another room.

In the dream, I had to hunt for the whiteboard. After someone found it for me, I realized it wasn't on a stand/easel. I had to go to some kind of committee to get approval. The next thing I knew, I had wasted 45 minutes of class, and I hadn't gotten permission yet. Frustrating, but at least it was a new frustration dream. It didn't involve not being able to telephone someone.

About a week ago, my brother told me about his own frustration dream. The gist of it was that he was showering in a hotel room and realized that it was someone else's room. He was trying to hurry but couldn't get the soap off and didn't have good shower pressure.

We got talking and apparently he also has dreams about having trouble finding toilets that aren't in the open: this is one of my recurring dreams. Could it be our toilet training?

November Miscellany

I went to the gym today, which makes me one for one for November, yay me. My goal was 150 visits for the year--the same goal I didn't meet for 2017. At least I beat several previous years' totals.

Today is the first day of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and National Blog Posting  Month (NaBloPoMo.) In the former participants write a 50,000 word novel in November. In the latter, participants write a blog post every day in November. I've enjoyed writing for my art inspired writing course, but it's unrealistic for me do Nano this year. I wonder if I'm just making excuses, but I have to be realistic. I'll commit to NaBloPoMo.

Last week I finished a minor kitchen project. "Lola" gave us four beagle wine glasses and two beagle themed mugs for our 30th anniversary. Jeff gave me another mug. Jeff wants to keep everything, but we just don't have room. Maybe I'm in the de-cluttering mode because I've doing so much work at my mother's place.

My mother spent a few days in Norwalk Hospital this week. She fell and had hip pain so was sent to the ER. She developed pneumonia, but is back home now.

I recently had another frustration dream. I couldn't get my phone to work again. Funny how I had the dream after a relatively good day. But there's always something.

Frustration Dreaming 8.0

or thereabouts.

In last night's dream, I dropped two plates on the floor while "helping" my sister-in-law serve some guests a salad and a piece of salmon. I offered to replace both.

For the rest of the dream, I was running around looking for replacement plates and trying to find lettuce to make another salad. It was difficult because the house was huge, had two refrigerators plus a display case that would rival Whole Foods.

There was lots of other threads such as me not remembering when Game Night was, and where was someone whose name I can't remember. As usual, the details grow sketchier as I am awake longer.

Unfortunately, I don't feel like much like a champion.

What I've Been Reading

The Sunday New York Times is the only newspaper I consistently read. I enjoyed two articles in The Magazine last weekend.

The first is on anxiety dreams, or what I call frustration dreaming. I've had a variety of them. I'm not fearful in these dreams--just annoyed and (of course) frustrated. I'll have to wait until my next frustration dream to see if I feel like a champion the next day as the article's author suggested.

The second article discusses the importance of frequent activity to offset prolonged sitting.The gist of it is that occasional workouts aren't enough. Being more active generally--walking and moving around often--seems to be most helpful.

When I track my exercise, I only count sessions when I exercise for at least 30 minutes. I only count hikes of an hour or longer. I don't include my visits to dog park with Lola, which take place most days. Ironically, these may be the most beneficial for me.

 

Frustration Dreaming Re-visited

Last night I had a few weird dreams including a new version of a frustration dream. This time around I was at a wedding, but didn't seem to know the bride or groom. I was confused because we were served a meal before the ceremony: shrimp cocktail and a bland shrimp scampi.

For some reason I left the room. When I returned, the food and tables were gone. Only chairs remained where we would watch the ceremony. I sat down but didn't see Jeff anywhere. I went to look for him and realized I was in some kind of wedding complex with several other receptions going on.

I got lost and woke up before I found my way back.

High Tech Frustration Dream

Had one last night. I couldn't access my voicemail messages from my phone. In reality, that is one of the easiest things to do on my phone.

The dream included other frustrations as well. I bought an ice cream bar and then couldn't find it. I was walking long distances carrying books and a quilt. I don't remember why I didn't or couldn't use my car. I had years-old appointment books with me; I didn't know if I had a tutoring appointment scheduled. If I did, with whom?

There was more to the dream, but it kept coming back to my inability to work my phone--my usual frustration dream foe.