Checking Things off the To-do List

Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I have a long to-do list. Sometimes I even get overwhelmed with a short list. 

I recently said that I just wish I could get up in the morning and not have a million things to do. So, in effect, I took a little time off last week. I still did the things I had to do--like food shopping, cooking, and cleaning--but I figured I could take a little longer to make doctors' appointments, research hearing aids, and do some paperwork. 

I meant to turn things around this week, but I didn't get off to a good start in terms of productivity. Yesterday, I was up early journaling and made a Thursday to-do list and completed each item.

• MLB: Jeff and I have been trying for a month to get the Mets TV channel--SNY. I won't detail all the issues, but I got it straightened out yesterday with a helpful ESPN customer service rep.
• Living room screen: The previous condo owner took the screen to be fixed, but it wasn't ready when she moved. I called and discovered it was still at the shop (and picked it up today.)
• My Eye Doctor: I made appointments for both Jeff and me. Since we went to My Eye Doctor in Connecticut,  the new doctor will  be able to access our records. 
• Healthcare Powers of Attorney: I edited and submitted Jeff's. (I couldn't complete mine because I needed a new copy and my contact was out of the office.)
• Clean bath: no need to elaborate.
• WRITE:  (in all caps as written in my journal. It may not have been many words (around 100 words) but it's writing and I'm happy with that for now. 

I just need to keep it going. 

Closing Out April

It seems like just the other day that I wrote a post closing out March. And here we are. 

This year I'm going to agree with  TS Eliot. Jeff's sister Melissa died on the 15th.Cancer. I'm so glad we got to see her in March. We spent more time with her than we expected so that was a bonus. 

***

The weather has been crazy: 90s to 50s to freeze warnings. Parts of the country are still experiencing heavy snowstorms. We've broken the climate. 

***

On a more positive note, Jeff, Jace and I returned to Bowley's after Jace's vet appointment. We had drinks and listened to a two-man band. It was relaxing and fun, and we plan to go back. 

***

Hoping to get organized and get some of those little annoying things done this weekend. 

A Time-Tracking Mishap

 I was glad to be nearing the end of my week time-tracking last night. As I made my entries, I realized I had an extra column. I was actually entering my Sunday information in the Saturday column. Somehow, I had erased the real Saturday information that I had previously entered. D'oh. I was bummed. I didn't want to try to recreate my Saturday. I just closed the file. 

I still have good information for most of the week. I'll take a look at that and decide if I should track another week. 

Cleaning, Packing, Unpacking, and Still Time-tracking

That sums up my day.

Cleaning because I've neglected it lately and Jeff's sister is coming to visit. 

Packing because we are driving to North Carolina on Monday to visit Jeff's other sister.

Unpacking because I'm re-arranging a few things as I dust and wanted to put out a Thai Buddha on a living room table. 

Time-Tracking because I want to complete the week. I am tracking on a spreadsheet on my laptop. It would be easier to manually record the information, but much harder to review. On the pc, I can highlight different colors to get a better picture of how I spend my time. It's going pretty well. I had to backtrack for a few hours on  Monday, but otherwise, I'm doing a decent job keeping up. 

Time-Tracking

Last weekend I was droopy and annoyed about the time change and the hour I lost. I thought it would be a good idea to track my time. But I forgot about it. 

This week, I remembered. I'm tracking my time in 15-minute increments. Today the condo scheduled a dryer vent cleaning, Jeff had physical therapy, and I went food shopping and did chores. That about sums it up.

All I can say so far is that tracking my time helps me realize how much time I am using for particular tasks. It helps me focus a little better. 

A Discouraging Word

I've been in a weird pattern the last few weeks. Every good day, whether I was productive, wrote about Merwinsville, or the weather was nice, was followed by two days of being unproductive, not writing, or cold/raw/foggy/rainy weather. Even last Saturday's beautiful weather took a sudden change for the worse--it plunged by about 10 degrees in a few minutes and just kept getting colder. The Mets season start has been underwhelming. Overall, it's been disheartening, depressing, and frustrating. 

So, I've been trying to focus on the positive. I've seen many more beautiful daffodils since I saw my first spring blossom. That always makes me happy. The forsythia are turning yellow. The Mets had a promising home opener, winning 5-0, reaching a winning record of 4-3 for the season.

I still have more to-dos than I know what to do with. I knocked off a few items this week. It gives me a little boost to cross off to-dos. I just have to keep plugging away. 

Good News Everyone

(Said in Professor Farnsworth voice from Futurama.) On Friday the 7th, we got the news that Jeff was approved for Social Security disability benefits. The process took 14 months, when we were told it would take four to six months. There were several rounds of phone calls, and documents filled out online and on paper.

And waiting. During the waiting, we saw an episode on Last Week Tonight. Many potential recipients declare bankruptcy because the process takes so long. Luckily, we didn't have to worry about that. 

In the following week, we figured out his health insurance. Jeff's losing Cobra coverage at the end of the month. Luckily, the insurance broker I use for my medical supplemental insurance could help. I also got our paperwork to our accountant. Today the taxes are ready, and we're getting a refund. Funny, these were the two things that I didn't even put on my to do list.

Still lots more to do; I need to redo my to-do list 

2025 is Here

I wasn't happy with my 2024. It will be hard to come up with 10 positive things about the year. (Off the top of my head--I've got three.)

These are possible images of my year 

running in a hamster wheel

running on a treadmill

treading water.

I went through the motions, but made no forward progression.

How do I change that?

Seriously?

Time Management and Prioritizing

I used to think I was good at time management. Either I lost that skill or I was delusional about it. I know I'm not good at time management now. Just one example, I intended to write this post over a week ago. Instead of seizing the day, I'm just living the day passively, letting it pass me by.

This is nothing new--I should have addressed it by now. There's been a few positive steps. I'm getting up earlier. I'm avoiding my phone: i.e. my New York Times word games first thing in the morning. Instead, I've been journaling.

I know it's not nearly enough, but it's something.

Mondays

Mondays get a bad rap. I understand--for most people it's the first day of the work or school week. Now that I'm retired, I look forward to the start of a new week. I tend to be optimistic about each new week. I'll have all the time I need to write, work out, clean, run errands, whatever I need to do. 

It can be disheartening to get off to a slow start to the week as I did today. I only accomplished a few things: I went to the gym, and I took Jace to Rowayton Dog Park. That park is completely fenced in, so it's the only place I feel comfortable letting Jace off leash. Otherwise, I just did some light cleaning and made dinner.

Let's try again tomorrow. 

Blogger's Block

I haven't been posting lately--I barely managed 47 words for Anne Boleyn and that was 19 days ago. 

I decided I must have blogger's block. I've never heard the term, but I was sure someone else had coined it. A quick search found this article.

That got me thinking about regular writer's block. I'm suffering from that too. 

I'm retired--I have the time to write. I have ideas. So, what's the matter with me? An obvious response is that I'm not writing because I'm not taking a spring writing course. 

I've been taking writing classes given by the Norwalk Library since the fall of 2018. The spring session is a ten-week course. Presumably, I would have written ten stories in the class. But one reason I didn't take the class was I wanted to write something other than short stories responding to prompts. 

Unfortunately, I haven't written much of anything--only a little journaling.

It's not enough. Not for someone who claims she is a writer. Not writing makes me doubt myself. I can come up with excuses such as I'm busy with other things, I run out of time by the end of the day, etc.  But, they're only excuses and not legitimate reasons. 

I've found myself letting other things slide too--like housework. 

I decided I had to start somewhere. First, I did some easy things I'd been meaning to do. I ordered some summer clothes, wrote a recommendation for a dog walker/sitter, and wrote a sympathy note.  I worked on this blogpost (I had started it about a week ago.) Today, I sat down to write and finished it. 

Small steps.

Self Sabotage?

In my last entry (Friday) I suggested that I could get morning writing done by getting up and writing first thing.  So what did I do Saturday morning? I slept until 8. Jace wasn't ready to go out until 9:30. Did I spend that hour-and-a-half writing? No, I read some emails and played New York Times word games.

I did work for about two hours after walking Jace on my story for tomorrow's class and finished the story this afternoon. Ironically, I've been writing shorter, "tight" stories until this one--it's 815 words and four pages. Our limit is usually 850 words. This week the limit is two pages. I'm confused about how many words that is. Oh well, I'm not going to edit out half of the story. 

As for working on my book, as Scarlett O'Hara says, "tomorrow is another day."

Musings about Mornings

As I get older, I am becoming even more of a morning person. It's 6 AM as I write this and I've been up for a half hour and awake for a about an hour. I couldn't go back to sleep. I'm sitting thinking about what I could/should be doing and staring at an empty screen thinking about the short story I need to write for Monday's class. What happened to the ideas that were swirling in my head the other day?

Jace is more of a morning dog than Spike and Lola were. When we first got him, I would get up as soon as I heard him stirring around 6. Soon I realized that I didn't have to get up that early. We have settled into a routine where we usually walk around 8. I should push today's time up a little because I have to take Jeff to physical therapy at 9. Jace is out of bed but sleeping on the living room couch. 

Jeff and I have been lucky because none of our three dogs have been the kind to wake us up at the crack of dawn to go out. Many times Spike and Lola would stay in bed hours after I had gotten up. I appreciate Jace's flexibility.

During the week of January 9th, I tracked my hours a la Laura Vanderkam. Looking at the 21 hours between 6 and 9 that week, I can account for 15.75 hours. 5.5 hours sleeping, 2.5 hours showering and dressing, 2.75 hours walking Jace, 1 hour cleaning, 1.5 hours breakfast and coffee, 1 hour games, 1 hour writing, .5 hours driving to doctor's. It's a little confusing because some time slots (in 15 minute increments) are listed in two or even three categories, such as coffee or breakfast and time on the computer. My time on games is underreported. 

I usually get up between 6 and 7. At least that's how I remember it. Looking at the week of the 9th, it looks like I could have had 5.5 hours of writing time. Worth a try. 

Topics for this Tuesday

1.  Time Tracking 

I tracked my time (in 15 minute increments) last week and have continued this week as well. I already know I am walking more because of Jace--about an hour each day. 

2.  Writing Class

The fall session started Monday, Phiction Writing with stories based on photographs. We've done this exercise many times before but not as a focus of the session. The core of the class has been together for at least three years. We have one new person in this session and lost a few from the summer. 

3.  Jace

He's a challenge. He's a love. He's a work in progress. I guess Jeff and I are a work in progress to him.  

4. Farmers' Markets

I've picked up a few prepared items last week in New Canaan: macaroni and cheese, mushroom quiche, cous cous salad, and curry white bean humus. I have to go this week for sushi bakes and pasta. I like trying new things and having more dinner options.

Friday Miscellanea

I've been thinking a lot about time, focus, and priorities lately.

I looked at a time tracking sheet from earlier this year to see how much time I allocated to Lola. It came out to 1.5 hour/day (10.5/week.) Of course, a good chunk of this time was walking. I am trying to walk at least 20 minutes a day to get out in the sun. Without Lola, I don't have the daily incentive. Sometimes I forget to walk; other times it's too hot, humid, wet, dry, or whatever. 

I guess I should track my time again to see what I've been doing with those 10.5 hours. I suspect some hours are allocated to the gym. I've been going four times a week for the last few weeks and feel great. 

For me the most important thing is that I've done more research on Sylvanus Merwin. Mostly, I'm organizing what I've read, adding to my bibliography, working on a timetable. I have lots of bits and pieces that I need to weave or string into something. 

I need to start drafting something--an intro or background information about trains. Or I can revise the piece I wrote for class about finding the hotel. 

Just start. 

Thursday Thoughts

I've been going through feelings of self-doubt recently. It's funny how fast it hits. 

It's focused on my writing. I haven't been happy with my last two class assignments. They're not terrible; they're just okay. I haven't felt inspiration. I know I can't wait for inspiration--at least not if I'm a real writer. You/I have to write whether you are/I am in the mood or not. 

 

Recently, I did some newspaper searches for Sylvanus Merwin. I was psyched to find information. But in the 20 something articles I found, only one or two were minimally helpful. The two local books I read didn't add much to my understanding (and were pretty badly written.) I actually haven't done any writing. At least I could work on some background. 

I attended a good conference on Saturday--specifically the lunchtime seminar. Desmond Hall the instructor inscribed his book to me, "You were great in the seminar! Look forward to reading the story you come up with!" I felt so proud. 

Where did those good feelings go? Why does self-doubt take over so easily? Why does the question of "am I really a writer?" resurface so often? Am I too old to be able to write something?

My self-doubt extends to other areas.  Sometimes, I wake up in the morning stressing about what to make for dinner. I worry about wasting time, managing my time. Why am I such an inefficient cleaner?

Why does it take me so long to finish things?

Lots of questions, but I don't have answers. I'm going to keep writing and try not to sweat the other things. 

Spring Forward

We move the clocks ahead tonight. The day kind of snuck up on me. It's unfair to spring forward on a cold day of rain, icy rain, and snow, bur we got off easy once again from this latest storm, so I won't complain anymore. 

I have an excuse to post this poem again. 

Spring Forward

The government stole an hour from me

2 am Sunday morning

when all decent people are asleep

no witnesses.

 

The government stole an hour from me

they don’t admit to stealing; they call it legislating

but the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

 

The government stole an hour from me

they’ve got everyone in cahoots with them

big business, schools and the media

I can’t fight them all.

 

The government stole an hour from me

they say they’ll give it back in November

But I want it now

 

Who knows?

In November, my time may be up.

Welcome March

I've been thinking of ways to describe the last week in February: mercurial, interesting, ricochet. I'll start with the weather. On Wednesday, Lola and I walked on the NRVT and it was 70 degrees. Then temperatures plummeted. Two days later, we dealt with icy rain and snow. 

My mood was as changeable as the weather. I am struggling to accomplish---well anything. I keep up with the day-to-day things that I have to do like cooking, dishes, laundry, and Lola. Beyond that, it's not so easy. Then I get frustrated with myself for my lack of accomplishments and my choices. For example, I had planned to get all our income tax documents together last weekend. (Friday was the first day one document was available.) I completely forgot, and now another week has passed. While waiting a week to deal with the taxes is not a real problem, it's a symptom of a real problem.

There were a few new developments. I finished February with an Ekphrastic Writing Workshop at the Aldrich Museum. We looked at three exhibits and wrote about artworks of our choice. It was a nice afternoon. Jeff started acupuncture treatment. Hopefully it will ease his pain and increase his mobility.

March brings spring and St. Patrick's Day; I look forward to both. March usually brings baseball. I'm not sure about that this year. I've barely thought about baseball this year, probably because there hasn't been much talk about the actual game; the talks been about the labor talks or really the lack thereof. I don't mind waiting for baseball, at least for now. 

MidWeek Miscellanea

Miscellanea is a good topic for a blog post that will be interrupted and perhaps disjointed. I'm doing laundry and will have to go to the laundry room at least once while writing this. We only have two loads today; usually it's three or four.

I've been thinking about schedules and routines lately. My Monday morning writing class is my only ongoing scheduled item. I've gotten into two routines: food shopping on Tuesday morning and laundry on Wednesday morning. I'm starting Lola on a Tuesday and Friday visit to the vet for her fluid infusions. It breaks my heart to see her so scared every time we get into the car, so I switched from three to two vet visits a week. 

We had a February Dog Park Saturday and met John, Jen, and Katie. Katie had a great time chasing her ball. Lola ran across the field, but otherwise hung by the picnic table. It was windy, but we stayed for almost two hours. This was a change for Lola; I've only been taking her to Oyster Shell Park lately.

I picked up Diablo Mesa yesterday from the library. It's the latest by Preston and Child in the Nora Kelly/Corrie Swanson book series. I had finished Emma on Saturday morning. I had debated reading War and Peace next, but knew I would read Diablo Mesa as soon as I got my heads on it. I read magazines for a few days. 

I wasn't thrilled with my story for last Monday's class. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't particularly good. I liked the set up though. We have two weeks before our next class. Our assignment: write a congratulatory letter to a newly published author and mention a bad review. I think I want to be a jealous writing friend and be sarcastic. Play with that idea for a while. 

Art Journaling

I wasn't sure how long it had been since I last posted here. I opened this page and wondered just what have I been doing since I last posted. 

Since I tracked my time last week, I could easily find out. Based on a quick look t my excel spreadsheet, I spent a lot of time watching TV, doing word puzzles, exercising, and cleaning. 

I also spent about five-and-a-half hours working on my art journal. Most of that time was also spent watching TV, but I'm glad I finally worked/played on the journal. I've been frustrated because I don't have a good workspace. Some art journalists say you can work anywhere, in any corner, etc. I worked in the living room on a tray table covered in a cheap plastic tablecloth. I pulled some clipping folders from my file box in the second bedroom closet. I didn't use any paint this time. I especially liked two of the pages. I had pasted an ad with a sophisticated woman in a black dress walking against a backdrop of city scenes. I colored in some of the buildings and advertisements, the woman's pocketbook, and a pair of swans. I added some embellishments including a heart, a cross, and a Mary medal. On another page, I pasted photos of Tsar Nicholas II, his family, and some Russian peasants on a gold foil paper. I apparently didn't use the right kind of glue, but I liked my idea.

I first learned about art journaling from someone at a writer's retreat (I had earlier learned about artist trading cards from people in the same writing group.) I've kept the Art Journaling magazines I've bought over the years  and re-read them often, seeing new things each time. Jeff got me a two-year subscription for Christmas, but I haven't received an issue yet. I'm looking forward to that. 

I need to give myself a gift of time to play more in my journal.