Another Reason to Love...

September. 

I look at September as a month of opportunity. I like these ideas. While I don't pressure myself much about New Year's resolutions, September goals are easier. 

My main goal: return to a writing routine. 

Closing Out May

This month just flew by. We've been grieving Jeff's sister Melissa (who died in April and will have a service in Connecticut in June.) We had our first guests--my brother and his girlfriend came for a long weekend. We got some more furniture. We celebrated Jace's and my birthday. 

We're trying to decide about our wills and health care powers of attorney. I know that this is something we should have dealt with years ago, but we didn't. Now that we're older, it's real. Hey, Melissa would have made a great executor. We don't have kids, the logical choice as executors. On the other hand, we don't have to worry about providing for our kids either. 

This post has taken a dark tone. But, we're dealing with a lot of heavy things. And. I just had a birthday. I'm at the age when you have to start thinking about how much time you have left.

I need to work on my book. 

Book 6: How Long 'Til Black Future Month by N.K. Jemisin

The last of my books from the Essex Library. I had heard of N.K. Jemisin, but wasn't familiar with her work. This is a collection of short stories. I especially liked "The City Born Great," "Red Dirt Witch," and "Sinners, Saints, Dragons, and Haints in the City Beneath the Still Waters."

Jemisin had been advised to write short stories by workshop writers. Their reasoning: "Learning to write short fiction would improve my longer fiction." For one thing, short stories gave Jemisin the chance to experiment with unusual plots and forms.

Maybe I should approach Merwinsville as a collection of short stories. I need to think about this.

First Quarter Review

It looks like I never officially made a list of 2025 goals. I'll review this quarter based on 2024 goals. 

Dryuary Plus: I didn't drink from January 2 until Valentine's Day. It was only difficult on one stressful day.

150 Gym Visits: Through March 31, I've gone to the gym 34 times, just a bit off the pace to hit 150. I only made it to 150 once, but it's doable at a pace of three visits per week. It was April 2024 that my gym visits virtually stopped for several months. I can't let that happen again. 

Reading: Last year my goal was 40 books, but I only read 27. By the end of March last year, I read four books. This year, I read five. I also read a simplified version of Little Women, which I'm not officially counting. The five are: Five Points. Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII and his Court, Road of Bones, and Angel of Darkness. All of my books so far are good. 

Blogposts: My 2024 goal was to write 150 to 200: I wrote 132 and 35 through March 31. I wrote 38 by March 31 this year. on pace to write 152.

Writing: Once again, I didn't do specific writing goals, but I had been working with the plan of writing 500 words a day. I did it several days, but kind of lost my way. I averaged 334.6 words per day on the days I wrote (January 2 through February 8.) I started revising in late March. Have to get back into the daily habit. There's lots of time left in the year.  

The Streak is Over

This is the third day since I worked on my Merwinsville book. My last few entries were tough--none of them hit 200 words. 

I'm not sure what to write next. I haven't decided where to end my story. The renovation of the hotel? That seems too easy. The spirit of Sylvanus lives on? I just don't know, right now. 

I do need to add things. I started a file called Additions, because I was getting distracted finding things and opening older documents to add things. I can do that at another time. 

I may need to rewrite the pieces I wrote last year. Well, technically I have to re-write or at least edit everything in the spirit of the shitty first draft (thank you Anne Lamott.)

Instead of working on Merwinsville, I wrote a few blogposts and journaled. 

It's not an impasse, just a temporary lull. 

On To February

I'll be happy to see February, not because I like February, but because it gets me closer to spring. I'm seeing more light later in the afternoon. 

Some snow remains from from the 20th because it's stayed cold for the most part. We have clear areas, snow patches, and piles of plowed snow. At least we're one third through winter. Actually, a little more than a third now. Yay.

Why isn't Groundhog Day on my calendar? It's not a real holiday but deserves a spot. I've already heard a news story that Staten Island Phil aka Charles J. Hogg  is the most accurate groundhog. I wonder if he has a PR person.

I've had a good January. I've been to the gym 13 times (I think--too lazy to check.) I've exercised at least a half hour when I didn't go to the gym. Of course, I'm also walking with Jace. Our walks have been less frequent and shorter

I've written every day since the second. I often get distracted from the actual writing by checking facts or going off on what may be tangents. One day it was how to learn the Morse code; another day it was women's fashions of the 1840s. I've enjoyed following where the story took me. Even if I don't end up using those pieces.

Valentine's Day is in two weeks. A local distillery is offering a welcome cocktail, whiskey tasting, and chocolates for $44 per person. Just out of curiosity, I checked out Valentine's Day menus of a few restaurants: $150 per person. That's just crazy. 

We haven't made our plans. Sometimes I cook, sometimes we get takeout. Time enough to decide. 

Writing Update

I've been writing every day since January 2nd, working on my Merwin novel. I have not been writing 500 words in a half hour, but I've been writing. When I get up in  the morning, Jace gets up too, so I can give him breakfast. I wash up or shower, dress, and take him for a walk. When we return, I make a cup of coffee and sit down to write. At least, that's how it's supposed to work. I usually do sit down, but I don't always get around to writing. Sometimes I have morning appointments and didn't get up early enough. I easily get distracted. Sometimes I get hung up on a detail--did they drink coffee in Connecticut in the mid 19th century? Other times, the distractions are external. 

I've been able to write at night on the days when I didn't write or didn't write enough in the mornings. It's harder for me to write at night with even more distractions. 

Last night was the worst. I decided to return to a piece about Helen Merwin. I decided I didn't like the tone--it was too historical. I made the tone more personal and deleted several sentences. I only wrote 149 words last night--my weakest showing. I was really disappointed in myself. 

Today I went back to the same piece and reworked it again and added information about the telegraph and the Morse Code. Researching the Morse Code was my distraction today. I worked for about an hour including the distraction and wrote 203 new words. 

I need to get into bed earlier and get up earlier to write. Then I need to take time later in the day to research, re-read my notes, etc. I'd also like to make a list of characters. I need to continue to write daily and improve my practice. I'm on a roll. I've written over 11,000 words this January. 

Time to Say Goodbye

 A week and a half into 2025, and things have settled in a more-or-less normal pattern. I realize that I haven't written a post about 2024 goals, highlights, etc. 

Spoiler alert: it's because 2024 was pretty much a total failure. 

Here goes: 

Dryuary Plus

Achieved.

Go to the gym 150 times. 

With 78 visits, I barely made it halfway to this goal. I was doing well with double-digit visits through March. I hit a funk in April, hurt my hand in May, had to deal with colitis (and am still navigating it to this day.) I was also away for a week in June and one in September. That doesn't fully explain my lack of visits from April through September.

Read 40 books.

I only read 27 books last year. The biggest reading month was June with six books. I wish I had at least read 30. I re-read four Preston and Child books as I waited for Angel of Vengeance (book 17.)

Write 150 to 200 blogposts.

I wrote 132 posts. I wish I had written more. On the other hand, I don't need to write more drivel.

Other writing/artistic work.

I didn't make any specific writing goals, and I barely wrote. The same with artistic work.

You Have to Start Somewhere

I'm bummed about many aspects of my 2024. My biggest issue/concern/failure is my lack of writing. I have written here and in journals about this before. It's not an issue of having enough time. It's an issue of setting priorities.

Recently I read about an author who trained herself to write 500 words in a half hour each day and then stop. Why couldn't I do that?

Today I woke up around 6:30. Jace got up with me so I could get him breakfast. After I fed him, I made a cup of coffee and sat down before the computer. 

I wrote for a half hour: 423 words. Not a bad start. 

Writing Advice in Unexpected Places

I wrote a few posts about finding good lines in unexpected places--meaning B movies. 

This post is about finding relevant writing advice in unexpected places. A few weeks ago, I was reading through a list of tips/advice about random topics--I think it was from cracked.com, but I can't find it.

Here's the gist of what I remember:

Don't completely stop a good routine. If you've been working out and want to skip a day, do two sit-ups. If  you write everyday and want to skip a day, write two sentences. 

I thought this was a great idea. Unfortunately, I haven't acted on it yet.

The following is a comment more than a piece of advice from the series, Wednesday:

"I've always hated the expression 'write what you know'. It's a hall pass for the imagination-impaired." 

I have to agree with Wednesday on this. "Write what you know." may be good advice for a new writer, but it's too restricting. Taken literally, I can't write about a man, a mother, a divorcee, an actress, or anyone older than me. Let me use my imagination. 

Creative Block

I've been disappointed with myself over my lack of writing. I had recently started journaling more frequently. I hoped that would jump start some writing for me. 

On Sunday, I sat down in front of the computer to write about Sylvanus Merwin. I had started a new chapter about a month ago but couldn't open the file. I wasted at least an hour trying to figure out what to do. Finally, I gave up. The file was about 200-300 words, so it wasn't that great a loss. But since it had been a month, I had to go back to my notes and then pulled out two books to check a few things. Needless to say, I didn't get much written. But I can't let up.

It's not just the writing. Lately, I've been reviewing some copies of Art Journaling. Yet I can't seem to get myself to bring out my art materials. I'm too tired, or I don't know where to start, or it's too messy. You get the picture.

I just have to give myself permission to write and make art, and then do it. 

Monday Musings about a March Weekend

Saturday, I visited the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in NYC with my brother and his girlfriend. Unfortunately, it was a rainy day--the woman checking our membership said the museum is always packed on rainy days. I found the people taking pictures of the art and of each other in front of paintings very annoying. We probably would have stayed longer if it hasn't been so crowded.  I enjoyed the art especially Van Gogh's Starry Night and Dali's The Persistence of Memory. I also liked Hopper's Gas, and Monet's Water Lilies.  I impressed myself with how many of the other artists whose work I could recognize: Picassso, Klimt, Pollock, Mondrian, Seurat. We had a nice pizza lunch afterward in a restaurant we had to ourselves.

Yesterday was the 22th anniversary of the day that Spike came to live with us. He is often in our thoughts, especially on his birthday and anniversaries. We'll always miss him. In the past 22 years, we've only been without a dog for eight weeks: four between Spike's death and Lola's arrival, and another four between Lola's death and Jace's arrival. 

A week from today is April. Hopefully, April will bring warmer weather for good. April also means the year is one-quarter done. I need to take another look at my goals. I continue to fail at writing. I need to figure out just what is wrong.

Author Speak

I went to another Author Speak for Bette Bono and her latest collection The Second Chance Store & Other Stories. Previously, I've attended two others. Bette has now written two novels and two short story collections. I'm envious yes, but I need to use her example as inspiration. 

2023 Goals Review

I achieved only two of my annual goals.

I am proud that I finally made 150 gym visits for the year. I figured that goal was reasonable based on three visits a week. Last year was the first time I even got close at 143. I realized at the beginning of December that this could be the year I achieved my goal. And I did it, even though I had to go the gym the last six days of the year to do it.

The second success is my version of Dryuary. I didn't drink from January 2nd until Valentine's Day. A side goal was to drink only on weekends. I didn't succeed there (especially around the year-end holidays) but I am drinking much less often during the week, and I'm happy with that. 

Now onto my failures (sigh): reading, blogging, writing, and making art.

I wanted to read 40 books this year: I only read 29. I read 33 in 2021 and 35 in 2022. I'm disappointed that I regressed, but I feel a little better after reading this. Apparently, I'm in the 90th percentile of book reading U.S public. Not too shabby.

Another goal was to write 200 blogposts; I wrote 148. I find it easy to let days go by without posting. I read somewhere you should post at least three times a week. I barely missed that. 

Let's move on to writing and making art. I failed miserably here. My writing goal was to spend at least two hours a day writing, editing, researching, blogging, journaling and in that time produce 200 new words. I did this--maybe--a handful of times.

Another goal was to spend two hours a week making some kind of art. Another big failure. 

I need to continue to think about 2024 goals. 

NaNoWriMo Review

 I failed miserably, abyssmally. You get the point. In a contest to write 50,000 words, I didn't quite make it to 2,000 words. Pitiful, embarassing. 

Why did I fail? There are myriad reasons.

1.    I expected to fail. It's hard to psych yourself to work when you start off thinking you won't succeed. 

2.    I was too distracted by research: one example is here. I did use some research that I had previously written about the railroad industry in general, but I'm not sure if I put it in the right place.

3.    I did not prioritize my writing. Actually, I do not priortize my writing. Ding, ding, ding. That's the number one reason, and I guess the only real reason for all of my writing failures. I remember mornings when I'd get up to write only to be distracted by emptying the dishwasher and playing New York Times word games.

At the beginning of the year, I had a goal to write for two hours a day, Yeah well, I fucked that up. Think of all the words I would have now. Isn't that's what writing is, words strung together--hopefully beautifully. 

Finally, it dawned on me: I have to think of writing as my job and plan accordingly. At least I've learned something from my failure.

Another good result from this mess: I'm in Merwinsville mode again. I'm remembering why I'm so fascinated by Sylvanus Merwin and his hotel. I'm imagining his relationship with his wife Flora, wondering about his rivalry with his half-brother Peter Gaylord, visualizing the telegraphic courtship of Helen Merwin and Ed Hurd. 

There's more to learn and much more to write. 

Halfway Through November

If I had been participating properly in NaNoWriMo, I woiuld have written about 26,000 words by now. Spoiler Alert: I wrote just over 1,000.  

With about a half month to go, it's too soon to label myself an abject failure, but I'm well on my way. 

I wrote about my fear of losing Nano: it's not a big deal. I'm going to keep writing. 

Besides my normal problem of not sticking to a writing schedule, the hour-long review of notes on Halloween night wasn't enough prep to get back into the Merwinville concept--I kept referring to notes, handouts, and the Internet. I actually stopped writing a scene to look up if people in Connecticut drank coffee in the 1830s. 

After I finished the first draft of the first chaper, I went back to add details. Later I moved material from Chapter One to Chapter Two. These are all things you're not supposed to do in Nano. The only way to get to 50,000 words in a month is to explicitly not edit anything. Save that for later. That is true of all writing.

Today I wrote a bit about Sylvanus seeing opportunities and then some background about railroad/transportation from 1800-1850. I called the file Pre-Chapter One. As I think about it, it's probably not in the best place, but I'm not going to worry about that now. 

I previously used my Ancestry.com membership to research Sylvanus Merwin's descendants but didn't get very far. I had wanted to cancel my membership because the monthly charges are too high. So I spent several hours of the last few days of access to do more research. I found an interesting connection that may be very important in my book. 

At least I'm learning in my failure.

NaNoWriMo

I had been thinking about doing NaNoWriMo this year. I was hesitating; I realize that I was afraid. But of what? I had failed before (failed NaNo twice before) I could fail again. It wouldn't be that big of a deal.

I signed up on Halloween night. Officially NaNoWriMo starts at 12:01 on November 1st. I stayed up and watched The Wolf Man and then started writing at the official time. I wrote until 12:48 (though I may have dozed off a time or two) and wrote 277 words. As I went to bed, I realized that what I had written was useless. It was a recap of what I had read about Sylvanus Merwin. It wouldn't work in a novel. I decided instead that I should start the story with a dialog between Sylvanus and his wife Flora. So, I did the next morning--I wrote 476 words. Then I got up to walk Jace, go to the gym, etc.

Later I realized that I had to help Jeff with a complicated government form, and between that and all of my other chores, etc. I didn't get back to writing. (Still haven't.)

It's still early in the month, so there's hope for me. For now, I need to go to bed and get some rest. 

Baby Steps

I've been writing--not very much, hence the title of this post. It started Thursday night. After I finished with dinner dishes and putting laundry away, I sat down around 9. I thought that I could do some writing. Instead I read a Thankful Thursday post.

After I turned off my laptop, I thought about writing again. I grabbed my notebook and pen and wrote some ideas for my Merwinsville book. The next morning I worked on a poem. I also made a list of other writing projects that I can work on. On Saturday, I journaled. Sunday, I wrote a speech for Sylvanus Merwin. 

Haven't done anything since then, but hey, baby steps. 

Creating for Oneself

I've been a fan of Laura Vanderkam for over eight years. I really liked this email she sent. 

Now I don't have a creative career, but I found her column helpful. 

I have struggled all year to devote two hours a day to writing. Two out of twenty-four.  Why do I always put every other thing before my writing?  

I need to find the answer to that question.

Mid-Year Goal Review

I had most of this post written, but stupidly lost it while attempting to delete something I had accidentally added. Ugh! It's even worse because I had planned to do a quarterly review. 

Here we go: 

Stop drinking from January 2 to Valentine's Day: done with no problems.

Stop drinking on weekdays: failed. Truthfully, I didn't expect to succeed here, but I'm drinking less, so that's a positive.

Read 40 books: By the end of June, I finished 16 books, so I'm behind schedule here. Yesterday I finished Book 17 (could be writing about that now, if I hadn't deleted an early version of this post.)

Go to the gym 150 times: Again, I'm behind schedule at the end of June with 64 visits. 

Write 200 blogposts: Way behind schedule with 68 posts. I can't afford any more blocks if I want to meet this goal.

Writing, editing, researching, blogging, journaling for two hours daily, creating 200 words of new material: What can I say--this was not only a failure, but a dismal failure. I had a special notebook to track how much time I spent and how many words I produced. I stopped tracking time in February--I guess I was too embarrassed to continue--and have recently started to recreate the number of words in May. I need to prioritize my writing STAT.

Spend two hours a week making some kind of art: Another fail. I don't have a crafting area, and that is hurting me. As I write this, it sounds like bullshit. Another area to prioritize.