Connecticut and Back Again

We left here last Sunday morning--later than I preferred. The  main reason for the trip was to attend a memorial service for Jeff's sister Melissa. 

We decided to stay in Norwalk for two days and meet up with some friends for lunch and dinner. We had to stop at our favorite Asian Fusion restaurant. We had an early birthday dinner for our friend Cynthia there. It was delicious.

The next day we stopped by our old condominium and ran a few errands before lunch with friends Elaine and Marti. Monday night was dinner with our friend and ex-neighbor Diane.

The next morning I visited the birds at the New Canaan Nature Center: Phoenix, Archie, Tupelo, and Gus. I even asked Gus if he remembered me.

There was a fifth bird I didn't recognize. I couldn't get a picture--he seemed to be hiding in the dark. I figured he was a new arrival and was uncomfortable.  

Next, we picked up some Bridgewater Chocolate and our favorite bison grass vodka. It's hard to find in Maryland; when I can find it, it's about $10 more than in Connecticut. 

Wednesday was Melissa's memorial service. It was tough. She had said no one would come to her funeral. There were at least 50 people there. After the service, we had some of Melissa's favorite food and drink in the fellowship hall: Caesar salad, shrimp cocktail, cheeses, fruits, and  Mimosas. Our nephew's in-laws hosted us for dinner. 

We drove home Thursday--a good drive despite a crazy detour courtesy of Goggle maps. It was good to see Jace and return home. 

A Busy Week

In addition to Jeff's three therapy sessions, we both had eye exams, a financial meeting, and Jace had minor surgery and a teeth cleaning. We also ordered a new rug for our balcony. 

Our brother-in-law is coming to have dinner with us and stay overnight. Then we're all headed for Connecticut for a memorial service for Jeff's sister Melissa. It will be nice to see Jeff's family. But as everybody says, it's a shame it takes a funeral to bring us all together. 

While we are in Connecticut, we're going to meet friends for lunch and dinner. During our last visit, it was freezing with snow piles everywhere. This will be quite an improvement.

Could this be our last visit to Connecticut? 

Closing Out May

This month just flew by. We've been grieving Jeff's sister Melissa (who died in April and will have a service in Connecticut in June.) We had our first guests--my brother and his girlfriend came for a long weekend. We got some more furniture. We celebrated Jace's and my birthday. 

We're trying to decide about our wills and health care powers of attorney. I know that this is something we should have dealt with years ago, but we didn't. Now that we're older, it's real. Hey, Melissa would have made a great executor. We don't have kids, the logical choice as executors. On the other hand, we don't have to worry about providing for our kids either. 

This post has taken a dark tone. But, we're dealing with a lot of heavy things. And. I just had a birthday. I'm at the age when you have to start thinking about how much time you have left.

I need to work on my book. 

Mellow Monday Morning

I'm feeling mellow today. Jim and Liz were visiting Thursday afternoon to Sunday morning. We had dinner with Annette and George at their place, lunched at Bowleys and Loonasea, and went thrifting. Otherwise, we just hung around. I cooked one night and we got pizza a second night.  

I took it easy yesterday too. Jeff and I had gin and tonics on the balcony, I read, and I journaled. As for today, Jeff has a PT appointment at 1. I'll go food shopping while he's there and figure out tonight's dinner. I have several things to do but don't have to do them all today.

It's my birthday week, and we're heading into unofficial summer. The weekend doesn't look very good now, but things can change. Regardless, I'll just try to hold onto the mellow. 

Visitors

My brother Jim and his girlfriend Liz are coming to visit tomorrow. Jim helped us move and has been here a few times. But this will be his first time as a visitor. We had expected to have a few visitors before this, but things changed. 

We don't have many plans, but I've got some restaurant ideas and Annette invited us to dinner one night. It should be fun. 

Closing Out April

It seems like just the other day that I wrote a post closing out March. And here we are. 

This year I'm going to agree with  TS Eliot. Jeff's sister Melissa died on the 15th.Cancer. I'm so glad we got to see her in March. We spent more time with her than we expected so that was a bonus. 

***

The weather has been crazy: 90s to 50s to freeze warnings. Parts of the country are still experiencing heavy snowstorms. We've broken the climate. 

***

On a more positive note, Jeff, Jace and I returned to Bowley's after Jace's vet appointment. We had drinks and listened to a two-man band. It was relaxing and fun, and we plan to go back. 

***

Hoping to get organized and get some of those little annoying things done this weekend. 

Closing Out March

Last week we visited Jeff's sister in North Carolina. We drove down on Monday, and were glad we got to spend more time with her than expected. We also visited with Jeff's other sister, our brother-in-law, and niece. We even met our three-year-old great niece. 

The visit was intense and tiring. The return trip was horrible, taking about two hours longer than normal. We picked up Jace from our friends' Thursday evening. It had been our first trip without him. It was nice knowing that Jace was happy to to stay with our friends. 

Traveling without a dog made things much easier. For one thing, we stayed in a hotel that wasn't pet friendly. It was just okay, but was in a great location. Every place we needed to visit was within a mile. 

Once home, I vegged for most of the weekend after I stocked up on food and wine. Laundry was also involved. I discovered that TCM's Star of the Month was George Brent. More on that later. 

Cleaning, Packing, Unpacking, and Still Time-tracking

That sums up my day.

Cleaning because I've neglected it lately and Jeff's sister is coming to visit. 

Packing because we are driving to North Carolina on Monday to visit Jeff's other sister.

Unpacking because I'm re-arranging a few things as I dust and wanted to put out a Thai Buddha on a living room table. 

Time-Tracking because I want to complete the week. I am tracking on a spreadsheet on my laptop. It would be easier to manually record the information, but much harder to review. On the pc, I can highlight different colors to get a better picture of how I spend my time. It's going pretty well. I had to backtrack for a few hours on  Monday, but otherwise, I'm doing a decent job keeping up. 

It's Been A Week

The first full week of the year was a mixed bag: a doctor's appointment, a family funeral, and the normal errands and chores. Oh, and we sold our Norwalk condo! I have regrets about how I handled things, but I'm not going to worry about that now. We expect to close on the 30th. 

A few weeks ago I went to New Jersey for a celebration of life for my cousin's husband. This week I went back to New Jersey for my cousin Barbara's funeral. That's not the kind of routine I want to continue.

Barbara died on December 22, the same date that Spike died ten years ago. I was planning to call her before Christmas. I'm glad we spoke a few months ago and that I saw her a few summers ago.. 

Barbara was 13 years older than me so I didn't spend a lot of time with her growing up. I did take some fun trips to visit her in Cocoa Beach, Florida and San Francisco with her parents and my cousin Cindy. Later, Barbara became the matriarch of our family often hosting family reunions. I will miss her.

***

I've been exercising almost every day--doing a half-hour of yoga, stretches, and light weight work. I feel stronger already. Walks are good, but not enough. Plus, Jace and I don't walk as far in the cold as we do in the warm weather. 

I've been doing more journaling. This morning I woke up with a sentence in my head about Sylvanus Merwin. After I walked Jace, I sat down at the laptop and wrote 125 words  about the Merwinsville Hotel. A drop in the bucket, but it made me feel good. You have to start somewhere.

Catch-up Post: Snow, Celebrations, and Holiday Prep

We had our first measurable snowfall last Saturday night--two to three inches. Previously we had only experienced flurries. Funny, my friend insisted it doesn't snow here. Well, this has been the coldest December in 20 years.

Our building had a bite and sip holiday party last Friday. My salmon spread was a big hit. Jeff and I enjoyed ourselves. After about an hour, we brought Jace downstairs to join us. Talk about a big hit--he was quite charming. 

On Monday, I went to a celebration of life for my cousin's husband. There were many people there--I only knew two beside my cousins. It was very cold, but Sunday's snowstorm didn't cause any problems. I was happy I could attend. It truly was a celebration of Tom's life. 

As I mentioned in an earlier post, we didn't do much in the way of Christmas decorating, but I can still see Christmas things I love around the living room. 

I'm going to cook this Christmas. I wasn't happy with the Whole Foods Thanksgiving meal and catering options for two or four are limited. I'm making filet mignon for Christmas Eve with scalloped potatoes, sauteed spinach, baby bella mushrooms, and crescent rolls. Jeff bought a Christmas pudding for dessert. I also have cheese with cranberries as an appetizer as well as soups. 

I'll make Christmas breakfast on Christmas Day. I haven't decided on dinner yet, but I want something easy. 

Three Weeks and a Day

It's hard to believe. I feel like we've been here longer. 

Last Saturday we returned to Connecticut. We stayed with our friend Jen and her Westie Katie; it was great to visit with them. I also caught up with Cynthia.

I finished packing up the things we left in Connecticut,. hired my neighbor to clean, got a quote for carpet and hardwood floor cleaning, met with a realtor, reviewed a listing agreement, and managed to leave one of Jeff's canes at Jen's. 

It was so nice to come back here. To our new home home on Wednesday. Our new bedroom nightstands arrived--my brother Jim returned this weekend and obligingly assembled them for us. Our kitchen set arrived on Thursday. 

I returned to Schultz's Crabhouse for their famous sour beef and another time for their crabcake. We tried a new restaurant for Chinese takeout. We're slowly becoming familiar with people and the area. 

A Family Holiday

Our great niece Daphne turned one today. I even got our presents to her early (not like she'd know.) I was happy with the gifts we sent. Got a nice text from our nephew about the photo. It made me feel good.

Today is also the 23rd anniversary of when Spike came to live with us. Spike was a wonderful dog. No wonder we got two beagles after him. 

We love you, Spike!

Wet Thanksgiving and Bleak Black Friday

I'm thankful for yesterday's rain (any rain recently) though it can complicate my walks with Jace. 

I'm thankful that I could have Thanksgiving here and not have to travel anywhere.

I'm thankful for the Whole Foods Turkey Breast Dinners. They're good, and reheating is much easier than cooking.

I'm thankful for our Thanksgiving with my brother Jim and our friend Cynthia.

I'm thankful for my health.

I'm thankful for Jeff and Jace.

***

Today was a lazy day. I woke up early. After I walked Jace, I journaled over coffee and played The New York Times games, and read. I had left all the dishes from yesterday, and cleaned them in stages over the day. (I still have some of the crystal to wash.)

Jeff and I grazed, then ate a late lunch of turkey leftovers on toasted cranberry English muffins. More turkey with salad later. 

A quiet day I didn't realize I needed.

It's Been A Long Week...

with a day still to go. It feels more like three weeks.  

On Wednesday morning, Jeff fell twice around 12:30 and again around 5:30 when getting up from bed to go to the bathroom. After the second fall, we headed to the emergency room. Bottom line: he broke his left pinky, but CT scans and MRI were clear. They kept him overnight, and he was home by Thursday evening

On Wednesday, I appreciated living across the street from the hospital. I went back and forth all day--something I couldn't easily do if we lived farther away. I could walk and feed Jace and get some food for myself, knowing the hospital would call me if necessary, and I could quickly return.

Now, I'm just trying to get back to normal.

Thursday Thoughts

Last Friday, we switched our Internet and TV providers. It was more complicated than the salespeople described. We had to move some furniture to allow for wiring (the salespeople said the tech only had to program the system.) Luckily, we had a great tech who helped me move furniture and disconnected the cable equipment. Jeff and I have a learning curve with the TV, but we'll save a lot of money. It's well worth it. 

On Saturday, I returned to the Merwinsville Hotel with Cynthia for their fall art show and sale. I only bought a few cards, though I was tempted by other things. I was happy to see the restored third floor ballroom and hope it will bring some writing inspiration.

This week's been busy. I feel like I've running the whole time. Jeff and I each had a doctor's appointment. I returned equipment to Cablevision, took a broken speaker and DVD player to be recycled, got quarters from the bank, went shopping for food, dogfood, beer and wine, socks, and a picture frame. Also, I cared for the birds. 

Yesterday was the exception: I was chilled and exhausted. I stayed home and concentrated on working through emails I've neglected and managed to sort the laundry. Back to running around today.

My father has been on my mind a lot lately. Today is his birthday; he would have been 100. Hard to believe that he's been gone for 14 years. 

I haven't made it to the gym since Sunday (which completed another three-visit week.) I'll see how I feel tomorrow. If all goes well, I can still make three visits this week. 

On Saturday, we're visiting a friend for her dog's birthday party. We haven't seen her for several months, and I'm really looking forward to that. 

With the exception of Game 2, the Mets have looked horrible in the LCS against the Dodgers. Just one example: tonight the Mets had the bases loaded and nobody out in the 6th inning and didn't score. They ended up losing 2-10. The Dodgers need only one more win to advance to the World Series. Unfortunately, they have no reason to think they won't close out the series tomorrow. 

Is there any Mets magic left?

Down the Shore Part Two

Note: I continue in my general writing malaise. I actually started this post on Sunday. Each day, I planned to finish, but I never seemed to get around to it. I realize I've been procrastinating about writing about our Sea Isle City visit. Everything was overshadowed by Jace's massive case of diarrhea across the hallway and two bedrooms. This happened sometime late night Thursday or early morning Friday. I spent hours cleaning up literal shit. This was in addition to be feeling generally lousy all day Thursday. We were afraid to leave Jace alone in the house after that.

Things started out well on Wednesday. We left Seaside Park and drove about an hour-and-a-quarter to Sea Isle City and the home of my cousin Elena and her husband Tom. They were there when we arrived, which was a surprise. Tom and a friend left after lunch; Elena stayed overnight, and she, Jeff, and I went out to dinner. 

I did get to the beach Friday afternoon. One day, we went for a drive, and I did a little shopping. I did a lot of reading and relaxed as best I could with the dark diarrhea cloud over me. 

More to follow.

Down the Shore Part One

I grew up in Audubon, New Jersey, a town close to the Delaware River. My aunt and uncle had a bungalow in Ortley Beach, New Jersey, where we spent many vacations. My cousin Barb lives there now. The bungalow had been totally destroyed in Hurricane Sandy and remodeled. It's strange to see how drastically the street has changed. Of course, it's stranger for my cousins who spent so many summers there.  

Barb's sister, brother, and other family members arrived Saturday. Jeff and I, on Sunday. We had been told a 4 PM check-in, but I missed the owner's email that we could arrive early--I was driving and didn't check my phone.

We didn't see much of one branch of the family. They didn't want Jace at their rental--even though we agreed to keep him outside. Then my cousin's wife fell on the boardwalk. She suffered a black eye and a swollen, bruised cheekbone, and needed six stitches. Luckily, she didn't have a concussion. She was talking it easy the last two days we were in the area.

We did have great visit with my cousin Cindy and husband Brian--the dog people who joined us for lunch outside despite a strong wind (that knocked over my iced tea as well as many other things.) Cindy was my closest cousin growing up. We laughed over old stories and memories. 

We found some dog-friendly places. First, we stopped at Last Wave Brewing Company in Point Pleasant on our drive down. We each enjoyed two half-pours (they didn't offer flights.). Then we drove down Route 35 South instead of going back to the Garden State Parkway. We went to two dog-friendly restaurants in town: Bum Rogers Crabhouse and Island Beach Fish Company.

We stayed at a condo in Seaside Park, just south of Seaside Heights and its famous boardwalk. Our condo was in a great location, right off the main drag, but in a quiet area. We had an off-street parking spot, and it was only three steps to enter the condo.

I loved the neighborhood. We were close to the bay, and Jace and enjoyed exploring. One day, a duck was walking ahead of us. The next day we trailed a pair of ducks. A new experience for us. 

I really liked Seaside Park. While it has its share of beach McMansions, it retains some of the old-style bungalows that were the norm when I was growing up. I'd like to return.

I'm Back

I haven't posted in over a week--and my last post was a short one. Before that, it had been 10 days. One week I was feeling chilled and lethargic (but no fever.). Later it was just lethargic. For one week, I only left the apartment to walk Jace. I didn't drive anywhere. I can't explain it--I felt like a slug. 

I've still managed to take Jace to Cove Island Park a few times recently. As of Wednesday, Stamford requires a permit to park there, so Jace and I won't return until October. Yesterday was probably the best day of the year. Jeff, Jace, and I ate lunch at Overton's before we drove to Cove Island.

My brother Jim, Jeff, Jace, and I made a quick trip to the Jersey Shore last weekend. The main reason was to scatter my mother's ashes. My mother died in early 2019. She had wanted to be cremated and talked about having her ashes taken to Venice (where my sister's ashes are.) Well, we haven't made it to Venice and don't know if/when we will. So we decided to take her to Ocean City, New Jersey. She had always enjoyed going there; she and my stepfather spent their honeymoon there. It sure beats my closet where the ashes have been for the last five years. (I did save some of her and my stepfather's ashes in case one of us makes it to Venice.)

We also visited with some cousins. We stopped at our cousin Barbara's place in Ortley Beach for a few hours. We met another cousin Elena, her husband Tom, and their golden retriever Franklin in Ocean City. We later spent the night at their place in Sea Isle City. We haven't seen them since my mother's memorial service and had a great visit. 

I hope to do more visiting in the next several months.

Family Time

I had a family-oriented weekend with a baby shower for my niece? (my nephew's wife) on Sunday. Jeff's sister (the mother-in-law) came by Saturday night to spend some time with Jeff. We ate Chinese take-out for dinner. 

As I was driving home from the shower Sunday afternoon, one of my cousins called. I phoned her back when I got home, and we talked for 45 minutes, after not speaking for over a year. I had also heard from a nephew Saturday afternoon. 

Maybe it's a sign that we'll all have more family time in 2024.

It's Never Too Late...

 ...to be thankful. 

We hand a nice Thanksgiving. My brother Jim and our friend Cynthia joined Jeff, Jace and me. As I previously said, I was organized. I even decided to make a special cocktail: a vodka gimlet with fresh lime juice. I made two drinks but planned to serve four mini drinks in cordial glasses shaped like mini-martini glasses. Jim wasn't interested, so more for the rest of us. 

I served shrimp cocktail and Boursin cheese with Trader Joe's pumpkin cranberry crackers as appetizers. Our dinner from Whole Foods consisted of turkey breast, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I added Pillsbury crescent rolls. For dessert, we had pumpkin pie with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. 

The only problem was that even though all the food had been defrosted (according to Whole Foods, it was chilled not frozen) the turkey and mashed potatoes took about twice as long as the instructions indicated. I took the stuffing and green beans out of the oven while the turkey and potatoes continued to cook. It was annoying, and I got teased about the delay, but we didn't really mind. 

After dinner, I took Jace for a short walk and then vegged on the couch after I found The Godfather on TV. 

Here's the list I might have made if I had posted on Thanksgiving night. 

What I'm thankful for:

1.    Jeff

We've had many heatlh challenges over the past few years, but we're still here and we still love each other.

2.    Jace

To be honest, there are times Jace wouldn't make this list. But he is fun and loving and sweet and loyal. And cute too. 

3.    Friends and Family

Sometimes it's hard to stay in contact with others. We all seem to get bogged down in our day-to-day bullshit. But the effort is well worth it.

4.    My Health

Seeing Jeff's health problems, as well as those of other friends, makes me appreciate how lucky I am to be healthy. It keeps me going to the gym too. 

5.    Our Home

Yes, it's true, I want to move out of our condo, out of Norwalk, out of Connecticut. But it's nice to have a place of our own with no mortgage. It's a good size for us in a good location.

6.    Good Weather (for the most part)

Most of the fall has been mild. As Fitzgerald said: "Life starts over again when it gets crisp in the fall." Already, many mornings are cold. I'll enjoy the crispness when I can.